homestuckfateeditionfandomcom-20200214-history
052916-Circular Destruction
aproposProphetiae AP began trolling teasingAsperity TA at 23:33 -- AP: Buzz AP: It's Nyarla TA: what..... TA: why do you have a new handle......... AP: Because I felt it time for a change, but keep it under wraps, yeah? TA: why..... AP: Because our handles could have been tapped or any other method of spying TA: oh..... TA: well..... TA: okay..... AP: Thank you TA: what makes you think that they won't find out.... about this one just as quick?..... AP: Because I've got some ideas in the works, but until then, I'll only disclose it strategically TA: that's a lot of planning just to keep something.... from someone else..... AP: Planning is more than necessary considering the fucked situation we're in TA: and which situation is.... that?..... AP: The entirety of this game and our adversaries? AP: You don't want to know what kind of messages they left for me on my other handle TA: the game.... isn....'t that.... bad..... TA: enemies.... however are..... TA: interesting..... AP: Jack had my sprite send me a picture of Aaisha splattered all over my living room TA: i remember you telling.... me that..... AP: And so. I like to move in silence. TA: you need pretty good.... stealth to do that.......... AP: Or a fuck ton of luck. AP: Anyway. That's why the handle change. TA: i thought you didn't want to.... talk to me.... anymore and that was why..... AP: Um...the fuck? AP: Who told you such a thing? TA: no one..... AP: Well I'd only said that I needed to be alone for a bit, not forever. I needed to properly mull over this new predicament. TA: how was i supposed to know how long.... that.... was......... AP: Hey, I only said "a bit." It's been what? Some hours? TA: enough for a lot of other things to happen..... AP: A lot of things can happen in a few hours. AP: You implying something? TA: no?..... AP: Question mark? TA: yes question mark..... AP: Yes implied meaning? TA: maybe..... TA: i don't know..... AP: Could you please not be cagey? AP: Everything okay? TA: things happened with serios and i'm confused..... TA: and.... i keep hearing things that worry me......... AP: Confused about what? And what are you hearing? TA: confused about what is going to happen.... to me......... TA: and as for what i'm hearing..... TA: i'm going to leave it.... at bad things..... AP: Something tells me you'll be fine. TA: do you even know what happened..... AP: Whatever happened with Serios, they're speaking of it in front of me. TA: he's probably not.... going to say the whole.... story..... TA: knowing how.... uptight and cagey he.... is......... AP: Though the other "bad things", I can't say AP: Seems pretty straightforward. The danger of your relationship in a world where Libby's hanging around. TA: the danger of us acting on it in a.... world where she's around..... TA: like almost happened when i left my.... room..... AP: Yeah, I'd have to advise against that in the archives. TA: i didn't.... intend to speak with him!..... TA: he started it!..... AP: Are the shoutpoles necessary? AP: I'm only saying. TA: yes the.... shoutpoles are incredibly necessary....!..... TA: !!!!!..... TA: look at them!..... TA: look.... at how.... necessary they are!..... AP: Heh, if you say so. TA: i do....!..... AP: Anyway... AP: Aaisha broke up with me. TA: so.... i heard..... AP: Of course you have. AP: You could have at least acted surprised though. TA: i'm tired, nyarla...... TA: i don't have room for surprise..... AP: Right then. TA: my phone is blowing up with messages..... TA: what did you want me to say?..... TA: oh no i'm.... so sorry?..... TA: i.... AM sorry that the.... relationship ended..... AP: I mean, sympathy is nice. AP: Especially from a moirail. AP: Of course I'm going to talk to my moirail after something like that. TA: i'm here if.... you want.... to talk, of course..... TA: i always am..... AP: So, what do you know about it already? TA: that she broke.... up with you and then tried to.... kill you..... AP: She wouldn't have gone through with it. AP: At least I'd like to think so. AP: Heh, you ought to see these wicked bruises I've got. TA: aaisha is.... very much a highblood underneath all her etiquette...... AP: Oh, I know full well. AP: I wish it hadn't have gone down that road. On some level I almost feel like it was unavoidable. TA: did anything happen to provoke her?..... AP: She thought that nothing she said ever reached me, which is untrue. AP: It's simply that we have very different opinions on some pretty important topics. TA: and.... no compromise could.... be reached?..... TA: were you both too stubborn..... TA: were you too stubborn?..... AP: It was the both of us. AP: In the past, we've had a tendency to sweep key topics under the rug instead of hashing them out properly. TA: that's not so much differing opinions as.... repressing things..... AP: Maybe for her. I forget precious few things. AP: I'm always pouring over my past. Without it I wouldn't be who I am now. Without observing and learning from it, I won't grow. TA: then learn that not everyone who has.... a different opinion from you hates.... you..... AP: It's so much more than that. AP: Please don't assume that's the way I think. TA: i don't assume anything......... AP: That was an assumption TA: it goes back.... to "i hear things"..... AP: That I think that everyone who thinks differently from me hates me AP: What exactly have you heard? TA: a.... lot.... of things, nyarla..... TA: things that i don't.... want to believe..... AP: Then let me know what they are so I can disprove them. AP: It's important to me that you understand me. TA: it's not something i want to hash out in trollian, nyarla..... AP: Then wake me up. TA: I'm.... not in the Archives.......... AP: Ah. TA: i....'m with eribus..... AP: Well until then, I'll just say this. You can disregard whatever you've been told. I'm certain there are more than a few discrepancies between what you've heard and the truth. AP: Give Eribus my regards, would you? TA: i.... can....'t disregard everything i've been told nyarla......... TA: i will..... AP: If you wish to understand me. You should know that there's a fair amount of misinformation floating round from those who misunderstand me. TA: even if.... what i was.... told.... came from aaisha?..... AP: Our fight proved that even she didn't truly know me. I already told you that she and I neglected to properly discuss a lot of events that have inspired our growth. AP: And it wasn't until now we relized how much we'd grown apart. AP: Realized.* TA: just because.... you don't think.... someone understands you, doesn't mean it's true..... AP: It's not what I think. It's what was said. It's what was acted out. TA: nyarla.... please..... TA: i.... don't want to argue right now..... AP: We're not arguing, are we? TA: we are..... AP: I'm not. TA: you're.... getting.... defensive every.... time.... i bring something up..... AP: I'm not being defensive. I'm trying to explain myself to you. AP: I need your trust and support as a moirail here. AP: If not even you believe in me then what am I to do? TA: why are you so eager to think i don't believe in.... you?..... AP: What makes you think I'm eager for that? TA: you keep asking me..... AP: You said that I was being defensive and I responded by asking for your full support. TA: i can't support you.... by showing.... you another side to things?..... TA: is that.... not a thing i can do?..... AP: I never said that, but I'd rather you see my side of things unfiltered. AP: Before everyone else's bias. AP: Is that not fair? TA: everyone is.... biased about everything else..... TA: it....'s a fact of life..... TA: i'm.... doing my best to see this through.... my.... own eyes and.... no one elses...... TA: but.... it's kind of hard when the.... first.... i hear about it is.... from.... someone else..... AP: So then please, hear me out. AP: Me. TA: i'm trying..... TA: don't jump down my proteinchute every.... time i offer an different view then......... AP: I didn't though. AP: You brought up something that I don't agree with. Am I not allowed to address it? AP: I'm not spewing vitriole at you. TA: you don....'t have to have vitriol.... spewed at you to know when you're upsetting someone......... AP: I'm not upset, I'm vulnerable. AP: You're using someone else's bias to make a counter arguement against me trying to open up to you TA: wrong......... AP: Lorcan. Listen to me, please. AP: It's starting to feel like you're just refuting everything I say. TA: i....'m not using anyone.... else's.... bias to make counter arguments..... TA: i'm offering a different stand......... TA: and you immediately shoot me down..... TA: i'm doing what i should as a.... moirail..... AP: You haven't even heard my stand. TA: i've offered a different stand.... on the things that have been.... said so.... far..... TA: what....'s wrong with.... me doing that?..... AP: What's wrong is that you haven't heard /me/. AP: I'd hardly begun when you derailed into hearing different things from Aaisha. AP: I try to explain and you go on to call me defensive. AP: I ask for your support and you tell me that you can't put away other biases you've heard. AP: You're offering me another stand and you haven't even heard mine. AP: I'm coming to you when I need you the most and you're not even listening to /me/. TA: what.... the.... fuck.... nyarla..... AP: What do you mean, "what the fuck?"? TA: i mean what the fuck......... TA: where did all of this come from..... TA: i'm trying my damndest to be a good moirail to.... you..... AP: This is the conversation we're presently having AP: The above is the path this conversation has taken. TA: and.... every single time in this conversation i've said anything apart from being a sympathetic.... moirail has had you jumping.... down my throat about not listening to you..... AP: I'm not jumping down your throat. AP: It's not "everything you say that's not sympathetic." AP: It's that you won't actually hear anything that I say without trying to tell me something different. TA: i.... can't offer suggestions?..... TA: am i not allowed to offer other points of view?..... AP: A moirail would at least listen to their moirail's full story first. TA: don't lecture me on moirallegience, nyarla.......... AP: I came to you hoping you would at least hear me out before trying to offer suggestions and other points of view on my personal feelings. TA: i can't do both....?..... AP: Not at the same time. AP: You can't be listening to me and telling me how to think at the same time. AP: All I'm asking is for the former before the latter. TA: i'm.... not telling.... you how to do anything......... TA: i know better than.... to.... think i'm capable of controlling anyone..... TA: least of all you..... AP: Then why are you accusing me of jumping down your throat? AP: I'm not allowed to refute any falsehoods about myself when we're actually talking about me? TA: what falsehoods have i said...., pray tell?..... TA: have.... i said.... anything that was.... false?..... AP: Like me being defensive. AP: Like me jumping down you're throat for being unsympathetic. AP: Like me thinking anyone who doesn't agree with me, hates me. TA: i have my sources for that last one, nyarla..... AP: Like me arguing with you when I just wanted to talk about how I feel. TA: i'm trying to help you here, nyarla, i am...... AP: I know who your source is. TA: who..... AP: Lorrea's like, twenty yards from me. AP: We literally spoke about that briefly AP: And you're not helping me by tuning me out.' TA: i'm.... not tuning you out......... TA: speaking of things.... being said.... that are clearly false..... TA: that's a big.... one..... TA: this is.... why.... i didn't want to do.... this over trollian...., nyarla..... TA: this is getting old..... AP: If you weren't tuning me out, you'd be listening instead. I'd be able to comfortably talk to you and after hearing more about me from me, you could give all the informed opinions and educated stances you want. TA: we're.... arguing in circles and my.... head is starting to hurt...... TA: here..... AP: Mine too. TA: let.... me tell you how much i....'ve listened..... TA: you're hurt because aaisha broke up with you..... TA: mad because everyone seems to be against.... you..... TA: and mad at me because i'm "not listening.... to you"..... TA: you don't agree with me talking to lorrea..... TA: ever..... AP: Then you're not listening. AP: I couldn't even dig into the break up with Aaisha, but I'm hurt because of the conversation surrounding it, not the break up itself TA: she.... attacked you..... AP: I'm not mad that everyone seems to be against me AP: What I said to Lorrea was an exaggeration that you're holding to me as fact. TA: then prove me wrong..... AP: I'm not mad at you for talking to her either TA: yes you are..... AP: I'm not. I just wish you wouldn't put so much stock into everything she says before you een hear my side of anything. TA: pardon me for having friends that i.... trust then..... AP: More than your moirail, regarding your moirail. TA: i don't trust anyone.... more than you, idiot..... TA: she.... helped me out on a few occasions!..... TA: she.... helped me out after i died..... AP: Then prove me wrong. TA: she's *still* helping.... me out..... TA: why can't.... i.... trust her?..... AP: I didn't say you couldn't trust her. AP: I advised against trusting her before me when regarding me. AP: How is that so hard to understand? TA: you've made.... it clear that you think she lies.... to.... me quite frequently......... TA: i can't just listen to her and see her viewpoints?..... AP: Stop right there. That's not listening. AP: Last time we spoke, I told you that I didn't care that you spoke with her, that I'd trust you in spite of it. TA: then why does it matter that she....'s.... the one who told me what you said?..... TA: i won't stop anywhere, nyarla..... AP: But as I literally just told you, I advise against trusting her about me before you listen to me. TA: i'm.... not trusting her.... about things.... regarding you......... TA: i'm.... trusting her as a friend and teammate..... AP: You're taking things I say to her and accepting them as fact. TA: i am not..... AP: You're taking her viewpoints on me. AP: The only thing that I'm asking you not to do regarding her, at least before hearing what I have to say. TA: i take what.... she says into consideration..... TA: just like.... i do everyone else..... AP: I don't give a fuck if you trust her or not. But if you trusted me more, like you claim, then this woulnd't be happening. TA: even.... serios......... AP: Wouldn't* TA: what is "this" nyarla?..... TA: hmm?..... TA: you not trusting me like.... you claim?..... AP: No, I trust you. AP: I just want proof that you trust me. TA: i took what she said into consideration.... and passed it on.... to see if.... you could prove her wrong..... AP: "This" is me admitting that this is starting to feel like an arguement. AP: And I don't want to argue with you. TA: it's been an argument for the last.... couple of minutes..... TA: you're.... late to the party..... AP: Look. I don't care about proving her wrong. AP: Fuck what she thinks of me. TA: you care enough to argue with me about it..... AP: I care about what you think. AP: But you're not even properly informed on me to come up with an honest opinion. TA: oh my gods nyarla..... TA: is that what.... you think of me?..... TA: i'm not "properly informed"?..... AP: This entire arguement has been about you accepting other biases and how I've yet to actually divulge anything regarding my personal thoughts and feelings. TA: i'm not accepting anything!..... AP: Not presently. AP: Then why are we going on about this? TA: because you insist on.... arguing.... over something as asinine.... as whether or not i take everything i hear and.... accept it as fact....!..... AP: Because my intent was to open up to you and set the damn record straight. AP: The majority of that would have been addressed and a lot of it made void. AP: But you're so insistent on not hearing me. AP: Not doing something as simple as letting me speak before you reply with all of that stuff. TA: i'm sorry that that's.... not how i operate?..... TA: why am i apologizing for that..... TA: no i'm.... not sorry.... that i gave my view.... on things when i did..... AP: So you don't care then? TA: where.... did i say that..... TA: where.... did i say that i don't care..... AP: You not being sorry. TA: i'm not sorry that i interjected something.... i thought would.... be beneficial to you..... TA: that doesn't equal me not caring about you or what you're going through, nyarla..... TA: get.... your head out of your ass..... AP: Unable to do a simplest of things for your moirail because it's "not how you operate." TA: excuse me?..... TA: actually.... no..... TA: excuse you...... AP: All I asked of you was to hear me out before all of the interjecting AP: That's it. AP: That's what sparked all of this. TA: and i'm telling you that that's not how i work..... TA: i don't sit and listen..... TA: i.... try and.... have a conversation..... AP: Typically discussions come after the topic is addressed. TA: so regardless of if i have questions, i'm.... supposed.... to sit and wait until you've said everything..... TA: potentially forgetting the.... important things i needed.... to ask..... TA: is that what you....'re trying to get me to do?..... AP: It's a risk I'd be willing to take considering I'd have probably been able to answer those questions. AP: Seriously, "is that what you're trying to get me to do?" TA: yes......... AP: Yes, I obviously, totally, want you to forget all of your questions. TA: seriously...... TA: no..... TA: that's not what that meant..... TA: i.... mean..... TA: "are you trying to tell me how i should be a.... moirail"..... AP: Funny, you asked about the fate of your questions just now, not your skill at moiraillegiance. AP: Maybe I misread. TA: you did.......... AP: It's in plain text.... TA: it was.... a long thought...... AP: Well sorry for interjecting in the middle of it AP: Sure seems unfair, huh? TA: i don't care if you interject..... TA: i'm used.... to it......... TA: because.... that....'s how conversations between equals work!..... AP: If we were equals, you'd be alright with granting one little request. AP: I'm not telling you how to be a moirail, I was telling you what I needed in a moirail right now. TA: and.... i'm telling you that's not what.... i do..... TA: or not how i do.... it?..... TA: one.... of those two things..... TA: take your pick......... AP: Could you at least /try/? AP: For the sake of your moirail? TA: you're asking me to.... change a fundamental.... part.... of who i am as a.... troll..... AP: Is that really where you're going to draw your line in the sand? TA: i.... make this a conversation..... AP: At listening for a couple minutes? TA: is there a line that has to be drawn?..... AP: According to you, yeah. AP: You're here telling me that for all your trust and all that good shit, you absolutely refuse to be quiet for a couple minutes for the sake of your moirail's mental health. AP: Even with the promise of that beloved conversation of yours coming after that couple minutes is up. TA: it's.... not a.... beloved conversation!..... TA: i don....'t.... "refuse" to do anything..... TA: you're trying to get me to.... do something i.... have.... never doen......... TA: done*..... TA: pardon.... me for.... being a little hesitant....!..... AP: You've never been silent for a couple minutes? AP: Hesitant? AP: I'm asking you to hesitate. TA: I don....'t.... hesitate when i'm trying to.... help someone else..... TA: I.... try to help the way I know how...... AP: Even if that means doing the exact opposite of helping. AP: When the way to help is being outlined clearly and requested repeatedly. TA: this conversation.... is the first i've heard any of this.... being outlined......... TA: conversation.... isn't.... inherently bad, don't make it out like my way of doing things is.... wrong...... AP: It shouldn't have to be outlined AP: I'm not saying your way of going about things is wrong. AP: What's wrong is your refusal to show any real concern. AP: Because then you would compromise on this. TA: oh my gods nyarla..... TA: you are so dense..... AP: I'm dense. AP: You deliberately refuse me. AP: And I'm dense. AP: You know exactly what I need of you and deny me. AP: And I'm the dense one. TA: YES...... AP: This is fucking stupid. -- aproposProphetiae AP gave up trolling teasingAsperity TA at 02:22 -- Category:Lorcan Category:Nyarla